Marybeth mentors women toward wholeness from sexual abuse. Tender-hearted and intelligent, she can uniquely love and empathize with these women, and offer insight to help them overcome great hurts. I liked her immensely the moment I met her.
Last time we talked, she asked about my blog, my viewpoint, my motivation. She then told me what people often feel obligated to tell me.
She thinks homosexuality is wrong. Not the first time I’ve heard that, by the way. It comes up all the time. But my answer is:
So what? So what if it is? So what if you think it is? I mean that with all due respect to all the Marybeths out there who do great work, but have already concluded (without a horse in the race) that this is a sin issue, and so that ends it. That’s where I must challenge you.
She had already admitted that the way the church treats LGBTQ is atrocious. Pause. Okay, so how about if we start there? How about if we start with that “great plank” in our own eye, as Jesus described it — in this case the abominable way we’ve rejected, marginalized, dehumanized the LGBTQ — which is pretty much the way the religious people treated the rejects of society that Jesus embraced. I think that’s where Jesus would start with us, don’t you?
Jesus gave this outrageous illustration to say that only by removing the plank in your own eye can you see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Well then. The church has a great plank in its own eye in not loving the LGBTQ as Christ loves them. I mean huge. I just met a beautiful young gal last week who’d planned to commit suicide because she couldn’t tell her family (…and church) she is gay. What??
The church is terribly wrong to reject the hurting people Jesus died for, and then abandon them with the belief that their own issue deserves death. Seriously?? Jesus showed the tenderest compassion for the brokenhearted, told us to do the same, and we neglect His clear instruction to love, so we can focus on behavior management.
Countless people now want nothing to do with the church, Jesus, the bible, or God, because of their experience of Christians. Is that a plank or what? Sounds more like a tree — which is Jesus’ point.
Sigh.
Some religious leaders will never budge on this — I know. But tender-hearted people, those who love others well, I ask you to seek out God’s heart. Of course it’s easier to put it aside and let it be, but I challenge you to ask Him: What am I missing here? What do you want to show me? What have I misunderstood about YOUR HEART for the LGBTQ? …And maybe You want to show me that plank.
Susan Cottrell & FreedHearts 
Criticism is autobiography. That’s what Jesus was say about the beam and the mote. Because in Hebrew the beam and the mote are of the same material.
That’s beautiful. Love it. If we remained aware of that, seems we’d pause before criticizing. Thank you, Cheryel.
This is a great, awesome blog. Everytime I get some kind of hard time, with my parents, or some of my friends that don’t approve that I’m gay, and that I have a relationship with a woman, I always take the Freedhearts road to seek some peace, and comfort. Susan, I wrote you my story a while ago, so it’s kind of a plus to write it again here. I just have to say, thank you so much for all these articles, and words of wisdom. Yesterday I went out with my girl, and had one of the best nights ever. I also had a dream about my dad accepting her into my life and his life, as a couple. It was a really good dream, never had one like that before. I keep praying to God, to keep guiding my path, and that he gives me strength to keep on this road with my parents rejection. It’s hard, but here I am getting by. Thanks again for what you’re doing Susan! God bless you. -Priscilla
You’re very welcome, Priscilla. Bless you and I hope your dream comes true. ❤
Do you counsel people to repress their homosexuality, or to become straight? Or do you disavow antigay religious stuff?
You must be new to the blog! Welcome. ❤ I disavow antigay religious stuff. Loudly. 🙂
GOOD! Together, we will all unite and discriminate against people who believe differently!
No! I don’t even know where that came from! I am committed to one thing in my life: Jesus. He said, Love God, love others. Period. No exclusions. Now, the only ones He did come down on rather harshly was people who use religion as a weapon. Those are the same ones I come down on. People think homosexuality is a sin? Fine! But that does not permit them to treat LGBTQ as outcasts. My voice is not as loud as His when telling religious people to stop crushing those who don’t meet the religious people’s approval.
Repressing homosexuality doesn’t work. We’ve seen it. Trying to become straight doesn’t work either. Seen that too. Loving others and letting God lead however He wants is the path of life and the one not coincidentally that Jesus tells us to do. Bing! That’s my choice!
Bless you, Kay! Thank you for those comments, and for YOUR forgiveness. It seems that in today’s world there are so few “Christians” who exercise true humility in their judgement of themselves and in forming opinions of others (our opinions are often judgements!) If we would all pray for humility to judge our OWN hearts (not someone else’s), the world would be a much better place. It begins in our own little corner of the world, one person at a time! May we grow in Christ’s love a bit more each day as we learn how to better love others without judging them!
Thank you for this. What a difference if we truly applied this in all relationships!
It is so true that we all need to have the planks removed from our eyes. As a lesbian, who is also Christian, and fairly contemplative in practice, I want to offer that all of us need to be mindful of our planks. Some people are judgmental due to real ignorance, which is sad and bad enough and others are judgmental by choice. The hardest thing for US is also to remove our logs from our eyes and love “THEM”. It is so hard to do after decades of discrimination, wounding, exclusion, hatred…but somehow I still hope to forgive and love “THEM”. Some days I do much better than others. Today is a good day so far…I am able to be prayerful and centered with loving intention, knowing we are all one in God-self. I won’t worry about tomorrow as it is not here. Yesterday my feathers got ruffled just for a moment, but they settled before mid-day. All is well.
Hi Kay, I pray God will daily give you supernatural ability to forgive and love your “enemies”. It’s so sad that the Church has been so brainwashed in our age to hate instead of love. Never give up on Him! Susan, another great post! I so enjoy reading your work.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kay. That is the tragedy, isn’t it? Turning people away by legalism from the very one who offers hope. I’m so glad you’ve found some real hope! Bless you on your journey.
So often my own internal response is exactly, “So what? So how does that hurt you?” Or to paraphrase Dear Abby, “Why is that any of your business?” I think many churches have redefined their purpose away from being a haven where people can commune in their common love of Christ into institutions that need to intervene in the relationship between people and God….as though God needs an arbiter or mediator.
Exactly. Well put. Not our job, is it?
Thank you, Susan, for keeping God center in our decisions.
I never knew that asking God, would first cause a battle within, but lead to great trust in HIS love and goodness and free me to love more . Seeking God is the only way to see clearly, and if that doesn’t happen at once, just wait for HIS grace to set you free of judging others.