Linda & Rob Robertson’s Story: From Fear to Love


We lost the ability to love our gay son because we no longer had a gay son. What we had wished for, prayed for, hoped for — that we would not have a gay son — came true… but not at all in the way we had envisioned. – Linda Robertson

Linda and Rob shared their story at Rain City Church, Bellevue, WA, of how their fear that their son was gay eventually turned into the nightmare of him overdosing on drugs. It’s a hard story, and as I expressed when I posted the original story in April, I do not blame them at all for their son’s death — and I hope you don’t either. They were doing what the wisdom of the church advised, the only option offered.

That points to the larger problem: the Christian culture of non-acceptance of gays drove this story and countless others like it — motivated by fear, not love. The position of nonacceptance does not bring gays to “repentance,” does not make them straight, but stirs up turmoil already surrounding this challenging path.

Linda said, beautifully, “I was afraid of all the wrong things.” As the church’s message of nonacceptance flowed through Linda and Rob those torturous years, they were expressing the message of fear they’d learned there, because the church is also afraid of all the wrong things. Afraid to let go of their interpretation of elements of the Bible. Afraid that if they are wrong about this one piece, who knows what else they might have misinterpreted. Afraid to say, “I don’t understand this gay thing, but I don’t need to understand it — I just know I love you. Anyway, I’m sure God will show you whatever you need to know.”

Please, if you are a parent of an LGBTQ, listen to this heart-rending story. If you are LGBTQ, please listen. If you think the church is being too hard on LGBTQ or not hard enough on them: please listen.

Homophobia Stops Here, by Rain City Church, Bellevue, WA.

Find Linda’s blog.

5 thoughts on “Linda & Rob Robertson’s Story: From Fear to Love

  1. When I read this story last night, I went to bed crying! We identify with them. A battle between your love towards your children and your faith and what you have learned. We have triples (21), two boys and a girl. She is transgender and one of the boys is gay, but they have no doubt on how much we love and support them. For that reason I stared (just a week ago) a blog and facebook page. My intension is to work with the parents that goes through the same situation, and would like to focus on the hispanic population.

  2. You. Just. Tore. Me. Up. Since I have no energy left after crying and sharing my thoughts with this on all social media, I’ll just say thank you thank you thank you for the work you do. Linda and Rob are two of my newest heroes!!

  3. What a touching story they have but very hard learned. They are my inspiration along with a few others, including you, to learn to love better and more fully. Thank you.

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