We lost the ability to love our gay son because we no longer had a gay son. What we had wished for, prayed for, hoped for — that we would not have a gay son — came true… but not at all in the way we had envisioned. – Linda Robertson
Linda and Rob shared their story at Rain City Church, Bellevue, WA, of how their fear that their son was gay eventually turned into the nightmare of him overdosing on drugs. It’s a hard story, and as I expressed when I posted the original story in April, I do not blame them at all for their son’s death — and I hope you don’t either. They were doing what the wisdom of the church advised, the only option offered.
That points to the larger problem: the Christian culture of non-acceptance of gays drove this story and countless others like it — motivated by fear, not love. The position of nonacceptance does not bring gays to “repentance,” does not make them straight, but stirs up turmoil already surrounding this challenging path.
Linda said, beautifully, “I was afraid of all the wrong things.” As the church’s message of nonacceptance flowed through Linda and Rob those torturous years, they were expressing the message of fear they’d learned there, because the church is also afraid of all the wrong things. Afraid to let go of their interpretation of elements of the Bible. Afraid that if they are wrong about this one piece, who knows what else they might have misinterpreted. Afraid to say, “I don’t understand this gay thing, but I don’t need to understand it — I just know I love you. Anyway, I’m sure God will show you whatever you need to know.”
Please, if you are a parent of an LGBTQ, listen to this heart-rending story. If you are LGBTQ, please listen. If you think the church is being too hard on LGBTQ or not hard enough on them: please listen.
Homophobia Stops Here, by Rain City Church, Bellevue, WA.
Find Linda’s blog.