Speak the Truth, Even if Your Voice Shakes


I know you have been rejected and condemned and judged by people you used to call friends, and maybe your church, and maybe even family members. Me too.

If you are a Christian parent or family of an LGBTQ child, I understand. If you are a Christian LGBTQ, I can only image your pain and struggle.

But let me encourage you as I encourage myself… we need to speak the truth, even if our voice shakes.

You have a deep conviction that you are on the right side of this issue, the right side of history, and the right side of God’s heart. So do I.

I understand the conflict you feel between your faith and your desire to love and be loved exactly as you are, or to love and defend your child. But the truth is that the conflict is NOT between your heart and God’s heart – the conflict is between your heart and the teaching embedded in the culture that you have internalized.

Listen, if God has something to say to you about this, then hear that. Ask Him to tell you specifically and trust Him to answer you. He knows how to speak. If He convicts your heart, then go with what He’s telling you. If He does not, then be at peace. Do not try to please the naysayers because you’ll never be able to, and you will only hurt yourself trying.

Being true to yourself is not a new phenomenon. Shakespeare said it 400 years ago. “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Or as God said to Paul in Acts: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you.”

Even if your voice shakes.

13 thoughts on “Speak the Truth, Even if Your Voice Shakes

  1. I don’t have a conflict with my faith, and with being bi. I believe God made people what they are, and it isn’t a choice. So, I’m not going to hell for being me. I do have a problem with organized religion though. I’m not going to have someone tell me I’m sinning for being attracted to other females. My solution, my best friend and I have started having our own Sunday services.

  2. Hi Susan, I have been reading your blogs and have been blessed by what I have received in my email. I have something I am struggling with and was hoping I might be able to ask you and some of the other parents that may have had similar situation. We are having Thanksgiving dinner at our house with all of our 6 children, their children and their spouses or significant other. It has been over 2 years since our son told us he was gay but his siblings have only had contact with him as of this summer. They have embraced their brother and will love him no matter what. Some of his brothers seem to be in a bit of denial about our son being gay. So here is my concern. We will all be together for Thanksgiving and my gay son will be bringing his significant other. We don’t have a problem with that my concern is the reaction of his brothers. My gay son is very much “in your face” so to speak about being gay. I asked him to be respectful to everyone’s feelings and struggles and asked him to withhold any physical demonstration towards his significant other because it will probably make his siblings uncomfortable. Our son is 17 and will be 18 in February. Please Please help me in handling this. Am I being terribly unfair to my son in asking him this? I don’t want to hurt him or his feelings but I also don’t want there to be tension at a time that I want us all to be together and to enjoy one another. We have not all been together as a family for the last 5 years due to us living out of state. We are all back in the state and I am so looking forward to this time as a family. Please advise and help me to see rightly in this situation. Tammy Morris Date: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 16:17:20 +0000 To: tmrendermorris@live.com

    • Dear Tammy, you ask a GREAT question, and I’m sure you’re not the only one dealing with this! I think you are lovely for welcoming not only him but his SO. Kudos to you. And great that everyone will be there. Many families this holiday will, unfortunately, decline to participate because they are at odds over this. Tragic. I believe you are well within your place as mom to talk request that everyone be respectful of everyone else. If, say, your one child is fresh out of a breakup, your other children might refrain from PDA just to make it easier. Isn’t the idea to treat each other how we want to be treated. Believe me, I remember how terribly adamant I was about my positions at age 18! There was no other possible possible point-of-view! Now, I see the value of simple respect and love and letting go of positions. Your family is generous to embrace everyone, though not all agree; you can call on your son’s maturity and love for the family to focus outward instead of inward. With my kids in three different states, I treasure those rare, all-family get-togethers. Also, people don’t live forever. Not to be melodramatic, but I would have loved many more holidays together than we got. Invite everyone to give thanks for this joyful day together; it will soon be a memory. He can be in-your-face at the pride parade. 🙂 Blessings to all of you who get to see your family. That’s what it’s all about!

  3. Amen. When you finally do speak up, you will find incredible freedom. There may be those who oppose you, but remember God is a stronghold in times of trouble. When I found out my son was gay, I was very torn with my Christian beliefs. I went to God and asked Him what I should do and He simply said to love…and that’s what I’ve been doing.

  4. The more you speak, the easier it gets, and before too long not only will your voice stop shaking but you will be amazed at the strength and power of your words.

    “If God is for us, who can stand against us?”

  5. I would just like to add that even if you come across this web site and you are not Christian, still, to thine own self be true. You are still a human being and still belong here. You are still loved and have purpose. You still matter! Put both feet firmly on the ground and own it all in truth. Just be you and be happy. Be a great person!! Walk forward and take your time in this journey. Go fulfill your purpose with both feet walking forward in the shoes that you have been given to wear. 🙂

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