Slurs Against You Are Spam: Delete Them


Never dreamed I’d be called an “ugly piece of garbage” by a complete stranger on the CNN website. I thought that would come from someone who knew me. – Nadia Bolz-Weber

Okay. I love this answer. Not only is it funny and disarming, it shows the right priorities. If someone who knows you insults you, well, that can hurt — I mean, come on. A little pierce to the heart. But if they don’t even know you, what difference does it make? How much insight will they have?

Their comments likely have nothing to do with you at all, and are based in their own fears and insecurities.

If they don’t know you enough to like you, how can they know you enough to hate you? How can they know what’s in your heart, where you’re offtrack, or where you’re exactly where you should be?

To offer counsel to someone precious to us is tenuous enough, and we take the risk in the hope that our words will help make that person’s path better. Think of the last person who offered you counsel and it was a good thing. It was good because you knew they had your best interest at heart. Even though it’s still hard, it’s ultimately good. When it doesn’t go well, it’s more likely because they in some way do not have a correct read of you, and so they are missing the beat of your heart.

I am wondering how much unsolicited advice LGBTQ receive from ‘well-meaning’ Christians. How many people offer them a one-size-fits-all answer to the most intimate part of their being. Without bothering to learn anything about their thinking or their needs and fears. Much advice is given because we need to have the right answer. (Lord, forgive me for my overabundance of such advice!) Such counsel is not about the listener but the adviser.

So I’d like to offer this bit of encouragement: you do not have to let someone slur you who does not know you. Anyone who calls you an “ugly piece of garbage” does not know you, and clearly does not have your best interest at heart. Slurs are spam you can immediately delete.

Here are some comments you CAN archive… “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 thoughts on “Slurs Against You Are Spam: Delete Them

  1. Thank-you for this perspective. May you continue to be blessed in your ministry. It is sorely needed and helps so many along the way.

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