A letter from a mom in the trenches…
To those who would challenge our gay children:
Thank you for providing me the forum to write this letter. I have wanted to speak on this for a very long time and the comments on the FreedHearts website (specific to the article, “To Christian Parents of Gay Children”) provided me the necessary thoughts.
Let me begin by saying this: I am a Christian! I do not doubt my salvation nor my relationship with Jesus. I will be in Heaven one day. My name is in the Book of Life.
So is my gay teenage son’s. I marveled as that little boy gave his heart to Jesus and was awestruck to watch his baptism. I do not doubt my son’s salvation. I love this child with every fiber of my being and I know that his Heavenly Father loves him even more.
What I find so troublesome is that people forget how Jesus walked this earth in human form and loved the unlovable. He ate dinner with a tax collector. He hung out with lepers, and engaged in conversation with an unclean woman. Look at his disciples—they were common men called to do uncommon things as Jesus encouraged them to think outside the box. He gave his followers grace and mercy and love.
If we don’t act from love, we do no justice to God’s word in John 3:16 and Mark 12:30-31. (This is the only scripture reference I offer—to throw God’s word around repeatedly and legalistically is a convenient way to minimize human dignity.) I am far more concerned with loving my neighbor wherever they are in life… whether it’s homelessness, addiction, job loss, or death of a child. I’m fairly certain that you would find these circumstances worthy of aid and even grace and mercy. The question I ask is simple: what if that neighbor was gay? Would you think differently? Would you step outside of your comfort zone and offer support? Please consider this, because you never know what life will throw your way.
From one parent to another, I hope we can agree that our children can make life very interesting and their circumstances can impact our daily life. A sniffle can turn into a cold and a cough can become troublesome quickly. We correct and nurture our children, teach them about God, take them to church and reinforce the need for a strong moral compass. I have done all of these things as I’m sure you have. Guess what? My son is still gay. I know this is not a choice. He was never molested and his father was present and loving. My son is also not a pedophile or degenerate, despite the mainstream stereotypes that keep being perpetuated. He has never even endured a tragedy in his stable life, and yet he is who he is.
The moment I laid eyes on that child I knew he was a gift from God—his given name means as much. I urge you as a parent: please remove the word “vile” and “abomination” from your vocabulary. Learn to let go of your judgment of this population. We cannot judge others. Only God has that right.
At the end of the day the gay community are people just like us and they are created in God’s image. I will protect my teenager with all of my might. Casting stones will not bring glory to our Creator. We must erase the line in the sand and talk mom to mom—and soon because teenagers like mine need to know that they are safe and that their Heavenly Father loves them.
At the end of the day I’m just a mom to a teenage boy in high school. I struggle with the same type of issues you do— a messy room and an aversion to homework. Please do not label, use derogatory slurs, or offer to pray the gay away. You and I are not God; only He can change hearts.
If your child should ever say to you, “Mom, I’m gay,” (and yes, it happens in the best Christian homes), I beg of you to consider your response carefully.
I for one would love you as my neighbor and listen without judgment or a speck in my eye—and there are many more parents like me. My responsibility as a parent includes grace and mercy. My gay son is even far more gracious than I; he sees people for who they are. As his mom, I am proud that he is passionate about his neighbor—which includes people like you.