Moms & Dads… Are You Speaking or Listening?

cross rope_cropLent has never been part of my tradition, but I went to our church last night for Ash Wednesday. It was like an open house, so you could walk in and pray in your own time, take communion, and let the pastor put ashes on your forehead. As I went in, I went straight to the large cross and stood before it, praying. I poured out my heart for Rob, our kids, our futures.

Then I just looked at the cross. The rope tied across the center. I smiled. Oh yes, did you have something to say? I finished with my wordsMaybe you have some things to tell me?! The thought settled on me. How many things we ask of God: Would you please do this… If you don’t mind doing that… And he doesn’t mind. He asks us to bring our cares to him, the big ones and the small.

But I wonder if I miss some of what he has to say, because I am busy speaking instead of listening, asking instead of receiving, focused on my will and only incidentally on his will.

And sure we ask for his will, of course we do. But how far are we willing to accept his will?

I ask this because a mom recently messaged that she wants to gather with a couple of other moms to pray that their children are not gay. The trouble is, these kids have already come out to them. These are gay kids. It’s who they are. But these moms aren’t satisfied with that answer. They are praying, God will you change them? Please??

I understand their desire, given that the parents have heard their churches teach that turning out gay is the worst thing that can happen. Sure, we have a pretty good idea of what we want, and we are welcome to ask. No harm, no foul.

But what if the answer is no? What if the answer is that their kids are fine exactly how God created them? Personally, I’ve never seen the “make my child not gay” prayer answered with a yes.

Fellow parents, I wonder what we’re missing when we ask for our will — however righteous it might seem to us — instead of just laying our will down and asking God, no holds barred, for his will to be done. Trusting him with our lives. Trusting him with our children’s lives. Whatever God wants. Even if we don’t agree or understand.

I wonder how our lives would look. I wonder if we would have that peace Jesus mentioned — that peace that is beyond our own understanding. I’m pretty sure we could use it.


7 thoughts on “Moms & Dads… Are You Speaking or Listening?

  1. A good friend of mine and I are starting up a support group for Christian parents with LGBTQ children. Our focus is to give what I didn’t have the first two years after our son came out to us, and would have saved me a WHOLE lot of grief, fear, sadness, and such a sense of isolation from the church. After MUCH praying,reading (thank you Justin Lee, etc.), crying, and ranting to my wonderful, loving husband, I have finally learned to consult God on matters, and leave the church, and its opinions, out of it. I have the least amount of interest in church that I have ever had (but still go), but my relationship with God is so much richer and deeper because of all of my soul searching. I look forward to helping parents know that their children are tenderly loved by our Lord, that nothing will ever change that, and that you can truly, and absolutely, put “Christian” and “LGBTQ” in the same sentence ! I would covet your prayers as we start this ministry. There are so many hurting, hidden families that need love, assurance, support, and prayer and it might as well start with little, old timid me:) Keep up the great work you do, Susan. You’re my role model!!

    • LovinMama, your name says it all! You have done what I pray more people are able to do…put their old beliefs aside and follow God’s word to LOVE above all! If someone can just do that, their hearts will be forever changed!

    • LovinMama I will be praying for your ministry. It’s something that my husband and I have considered doing as well. There needs to be more support out there because this can be so isolating. I pray that you are showered with many blessings as you embark on this journey!

  2. Exactly!!!! Lean in and love MORE … not LESS … and let God sort out whatever details he wishes! I wonder what would happen if folks who are praying for people not to be gay would instead pray to be better mothers, fathers, friends, sister, brothers. Pray to be a better reflection of Christ himself. I. Wonder.

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