Reasons to Attend a Gay Loved One’s Wedding


Many Christians might not go to a gay loved one’s wedding. I have no doubt Jesus would. Will you?

It’s Spring. Love is in the air. Wedding plans are well underway. Invitations are in the mail. Maybe one is coming to you – from your lesbian daughter, or your gay son, or an LGBTQ loved one. Will you attend?

Let me give you some reasons why you should…

  • You don’t have to have all of this settled first. Even if you’re wrestling with this issue, unsure of what you believe or where you stand, err on the side of love.
  • To attend the wedding is to prioritize your relationship over the rules. People supersede rules.
  • Not to attend the wedding will not be seen as righteous opposition to gay marriage; it will be seen self-righteous and unloving.
  • You will never forget.
  • Your child will never forget.
  • At every turn, Jesus showed love and grace and favor to people rejected, condemned and shut out by the church and the religious elite. He dined, laughed, and hung out with the very people the religious leaders considered sinners. He interacted with women and gentiles, played with children, spurned by the religious elite.
  • God went to those the religious people blocked from coming to God.
  • Jesus’ love and compassion to the marginalized and rejected always trumped the law.
  • Put others before yourself — sacrifice your own comfort in order to stand on the great command — to love your neighbor as yourself.
  • If you are a Mom or Dad of a gay child, your place at the wedding has been reserved since the day your child was born. No one belongs in the chair reserved for you. Don’t let it sit empty at your child’s wedding.
  • To lighten this up a bit… If you will not attend because you cannot support gay marriage, then you believe God does not support gay marriage, so God does not view this as a “real” marriage. You can go and just think of it as a party! : )

You were there for their first word, and their first step, and their first day of school, and their school events and games, and their first dance, and their graduation. Those days don’t compare to this one. Be there for their wedding.

Listen to your God-given desire to stand by your child in love. Many Christians might not go. Jesus certainly would.

6 thoughts on “Reasons to Attend a Gay Loved One’s Wedding

  1. Susan,
    I think you have hit all the best points and I agree totally…I attended my younger sisters wedding in Chicago (in guy mode…lol) and an so glad not only because of her and her spouse…but for me as well. It was wonderful!

  2. My grandma didn’t come to my wedding. I had one aunt (out of 6 of my parents siblings) show up… My godfather, godmother didn’t come… I got RSVPs with hate spewed all over them… I invited those who I thought for sure would have supported me, and those I feared would reject me, I didn’t invite. Turns out the ones I invited didn’t support me, and those I didn’t invite, support me. I found out after how hurt they were because they weren’t invited. If I had a do over I would invite all my family and grow thick skin.
    When I allow myself to feel and acknowledge the lack of attendance my heart feels like it’s been yanked out and stomped on… I try not to process it, and just stuff the rejection back inside. I hurt, not only because family didn’t come but because I hurt others by not inviting them for fear of rejection.
    Because I believe in unconditional love I don’t treat my grandma any differently. I show her love… I don’t hate those who sent hate mail or openly disproved of my marriage. I love them…

    • Bless you, my friend. Yes, it is hard. Also shows that we really don’t know what is going inside someone else’s head (or heart). And I’m SURE you know that people’s reaction has nothing to do with you. Yes, I love what Rachel Held Evans said at the GCN Conference: She has to have thick skin and a tender heart. I hope you can celebrate with those supporters, even by getting together. You can still enjoy relationship with them! Best to you, Jacqueline.

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