The Perks of Truly Loving Your Gay Child : )


“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

I love my kids. All five of them. I can’t even put into words how much I love them.

I was designed that way. So were you, if you’re a parent. To be on the outs with them would crush me.

Many of my LGBTQ readers have parents who have rejected them. Shunned them. Kicked them out of the house. Sometimes the parents even have the audacity to call it “tough love.”

Wrong. It’s not love at all.

I thought it might help you to read just a few of the perks of truly loving your gay child!  🙂

  1. God designed you to love. To love your child fits with that design.
  2. Not to love goes against your design. It’s like a foreign object – like a bean a child sticks up her nose –you don’t know what damage that un-love will do in you.
  3. To love makes you feel good. Love does good things to your mental, spiritual, health.
  4. Not to love hurts your hearts and your spirit – it adds stress.
  5. To love makes you look good. It shows you to be kind and compassionate, even with those you disagree with.
  6. Not to love makes you look hard and judgmental, as if you don’t understand the gift of grace that is given to you.
  7. A parent’s primary job is to love and protect their child. Not to love and protect is to fail as a parent.
  8. To love someone you disagree with takes maturity and other-centeredness, the marks of a true Christian.
  9. Not to love them shows immaturity and ingratitude for what God has done – not theirs, yours. Your response to your gay child says nothing about them, but plenty about you. It does absolutely nothing positive for God.
  10. Not to love them is to dis-unify your family. You can’t say they’re the one tearing the family apart – they’re just being them. Those who reject them are tearing the family apart.
  11. You will want a close relationship with them as you age. You will be there sooner than you think, and to have rejected the child who could have been a friend to you, even a helper to you, as you reflect back on your life together – well, it’s shortsighted.
  12. Jesus said to. “Love God, love others…  All the law and the writings of the prophets depend on these two commands.”

Remember this: to love someone is a choice!

If you don’t unconditionally love, accept and affirm your child, no one can chose that but you.


9 thoughts on “The Perks of Truly Loving Your Gay Child : )

  1. A parent’s love is the most significant “advantage” and most powerful help we have to give them. A frequent, maybe natural parent reaction to a gay, lesbian, or bisexual child is fear. And it’s not misplaced: this is still a much more dangerous world for non-heterosexual people. Parents may feel that some of the most important dreams they have had for their children are now impossible because of sexual orientation. A wonderful marriage, fulfilling work that matches their God-given talents to a greater purpose, respect in their community, children… all seem less likely or drastically different than dreamed. But in fact, parents hold one powerful key to their children’s achievement of all of those: unconditional love arms them with confidence, patience and persistence and innoculates them against absorbing false negative messges about their worth from the outside world. In my work, I interviewed a gay man who put it beautifully: “For parents who want their kids not to have such a hard life, if they know they have their parents’ full support it eliminates the hardest problem they’ll ever face.”

  2. What is so different. Unconditional love does not judge. For all of you who due to shame because of peer pressure, I am sorry but people are afraid when something is outside comfort zone thus begatts hate and racism. But parents never allow this to be part of your love. Time is precious love to frail to break bonds over man imposed rules
    Love love and more love and tothose who still feel the pain forgive and humility are a greatfruited of the slspirit
    Namaste light be yours
    From someone who watched my sister painful journey, but it to passed.
    Leonor arango

  3. Thank you…and that not only goes for gay children and adults…but everyone…we all got issues…all of us…every last one of us….love is always the answer, and the only love that exists, at least in my world, is the the kind that’s unconditional…and forgiving…and tolerant.

  4. My youngest son “came out” almost two years ago. He is the youngest of four boys and has a younger sister too. It is impossible for me to conceive of loving him any less than the others.

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