Until My Knees Buckle & My Arms Fail


“We will not patronize, exclude, or ignore the gifts of any person, male or female, gay or straight, young or old. We declare solidarity with the poor, and with all who are suffering, oppressed, or excluded.”

This was an affirmation prayer that was part of a recent church service.

I, along with so many others, were in tears at the end of this powerful time in which we talked about the story of the Good Samaritan. I wanted to share some thoughts with you today (inspired by the words and service organized by Tim Browning).

God’s purposes are divine and God’s plan is merciful. Jesus came to comfort those who are hurting, marginalized, oppressed. He set aside the law in favor of people.

I pray that I, that we all, have a heart for those who have been beaten, condemned, judged, left behind, mistreated – by strangers and by those they love – for whatever reason – sexual orientation, gender identity, the way they dress, they way they talk, or simply for who they are.

May we pray and have a heart for those who have been left alone.

I search, often vainly, for reasons for this kind of suffering and sometimes all I can do is lean on God who is my hope – and love and care for people as Jesus commanded.

I also know that God has instructed us to pray for those who abuse us, and to seek mercy for those who wrong us. So very difficult to do.

People have walked away from our suffering, or the suffering of those who we love. People have abandoned us in our time of need.

I want to pray for those people. I want to forgive them.

I also realize the many terrible times that I have walked away from the suffering of others. The times I have placed, and will place my own needs above the needs of the hurting and the pleas for mercy from the suffering.

God forgive me.

I am also so very thankful for those who truly did walk in the footsteps of Jesus, who truly did act in God’s name – those who came alongside me, and others hurting to relieve our suffering.

People who wear out their lives in the service of others.

We also thank God with wonder, awe and humility for the times that we have been the ones who have lifted up another.

This is what I want my life to be about, this is what I want my joy to be – to lift up all those who suffer

…until my knees buckle and my arms fail.

16 thoughts on “Until My Knees Buckle & My Arms Fail

  1. Dear Whosoeverperiod, I have not found a “church home” for quite some time now, but I am not as concerned about it as I used to be. I have found a community of sorts. I belong to Contemplative Outreach, which is a group of folks who follow the Centering Prayer teachings of Benedictine Fr. Thomas Keating. Yes, he is Catholic, but I am not. In our group there are Methodists, Catholics, Episcopals (me) Evangelicals (contemplative, open ones), Presbyterians, UUC’s and even folks who are not in an organized religion. And yes, we are straight and gay, praying silently together month after month, sharing our heart for God together. It comes from that deep well of knowing God is bigger than religion or rules, that love is beyond barriers that we can do this together and open ourselves to being vulnerable. Finding a church is less important to me now because I am learning to be in community. Does that make sense?

    It is my prayer, both as a therapist, spiritual director and yes as a lesbian, that welcoming can happen everywhere we go, especially in the faith community. We are Jesus followers as much as anyone else, and our faith is deep and strong, we pray daily, have Scripture in our heart and on our tongues, live our lives with compassion and honestly and witness to the Truth of God’s love. My God loves me, this I know! There is no doubt in my mind. I can only love God because God first loved me!! So who can tell me otherwise?

    We do well to remember that we love God because we are loved first. That is not about religion. That is about God. That is not about laws and rules, patriarchy or standards, ideology or opinions. It is all about love. Just never give up!!!! We are loved!!! We are all loved just the way we are, no matter what!

    All peace and good to you, sweet ones!

    • Wow, so well said and so not understood by most. Thank you for your honesty. Know you are loved and accepted by the one who died for you, Jesus. Just the amazing way you are!

  2. As someone who is currently looking for a church home, yet has repeatedly told I do not exist, because a gay Christian is an oxymoron and a lie of the devil … I want to tell you personally how your love, your support, your just being … has assisted me in not throwing in the towel. Not throw in a towel on Jesus … but on the church. I will search and knock until I find … or until I am directed to create what I am looking for … So you may have “walked away” from suffering from time to time, but that in no way lessens the tremendous, life saving good you are doing. In fact it only shows you are human … So from me and countless others … Thank you for speaking even if your voice quivers … and for lifting us up until your knees buckle and arms fail … because everything you do matters and it has cost you a price many would not have dared pay. When I look at you … when I read your words … I see nothing but Jesus …

    • I am not sure if you have looked up Prenatal hormones and sexual orientation? It explains how sexual orientation is assigned in utero and finishes off in puberty. It is in Endocrinology books and a good endo Doc can explain it. One can Google it as well.

      Some churches say LGBT folks are born with a “sin nature”…..sigh….we are all born with a sin nature, nothing to do with orientation. πŸ™‚

      Maybe the information can help shed some light to the churches you are visiting.

      I know this is Wikipedia, but it is in the medical books as well. I have read it!! πŸ™‚

      Good Luck, keep seeking

        • Welcome

          It is complicated. Sigh…….

          The endo doc explained it to me in a way that was easy to understand. She is now retired, and taught medical students here in my area. She is brilliant!! I was glad to have her as a resource, and her husband is a minister!!!

          I ask her how come so many educated folks, ministers, and head church folks do not look at this stuff. She said if it were not for her being an Endocrinologist, she probably would not be open to it either. She is a Christian as well. She said the sex part is hormonal, and sees why some folks are celibate, and that the sex part of it can be a choice. She said, it is between the folks and God. Her husband chimed in and said, marriage is constitutional, and that there are 8 different kinds of marriage in the Bible!! He said that some writings in the Bible pertained to WHEN, the time period, it occurred. Some of it does not pertain to 2014. We are to Love God, and Love others. Period.

          Hormones, Androgen, Testosterone, and Estrogen are at play, with Testosterone being the final orientation assigning hormone as one gets closer to puberty.. Genes are also at play. It is familial, and can run in families with twins.
          She said LGBT folks fall in to a spectrum, like the spectrum of kids who have Autism
          Heterosexuals are at the beginning of the spectrum. Folks who have SSA are next, bisexuals fall in to place next, and transgender folks are last. Questioning are questioning.

          Medical Endo books are expensive, but well worth it.

          This is a paper I found on line, that is close to the medical books. I try to be careful of stuff on the internet that is NOT backed by science and that are not good resources. Some times the reads are biased as well. Happy reading. πŸ™‚ I hope the link works, I am not good at this stuff.

          Sexual differentiation of the human
          brain: relevance for gender identity,
          transsexualism and sexual orientation

          I cannot imagine the psychological warfare and have a heart for all the LGBT community.
          God loves you and so do many other folks.

          Be Blessed!!!!

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