Dear Susan: Does My Gay Son Have a Reprobate Mind?


“Does my gay son need to come back to a normal life? Did God give him a reprobate mind because of bad influences? Is my gay son condemned by God and will he face God’s judgment?”

I hear these questions a lot and I look forward to addressing them today.

I write Dear Susan posts every Friday. Sometimes they will be poignant, sometimes thought-provoking, sometimes tender, sometimes funny… but hopefully always worth the read.  🙂

Let’s do this…

Dear Susan,

We parents just found out that our Son is gay; he has been brought up in the fear of God and born-again and water baptized child at an early age.

We are believers for 20 years and studied the bible very well.

Being a Gay is a Sin as per the truths. Does my Son need to come back to normal life – as in Romans it mentions God gave them a reprobate mind because of psychological environmental influences so they turned their lust to men not women.

We are worried about his salvation at the rapture or judgement Rev 21.

Please advise.

Worried Mom & Dad

Dearest Worried,

Hello, and how are you doing? I hear the angst in your voice about this. I know how scared you must be.

Breathe. Your son is fine. He is just living as God created him to live. Let me ease your heart…

Your son did not choose to be gay. He did not decide to be — he just IS.  (I’m sure he will confirm that if you ask him.)

When Paul talks about a “reprobate mind” in Romans, he means the end result of idolatrous practices, and the “pederasty” of sex between a man and a boy. [“Reprobate” means condemned or damned.] Paul is just as disgusted by an abusive man with a boy as we would be today. Child sexual abuse is horrible whatever the context — and Paul condemns these practices, especially as they are used in pagan ritual worship. Pedophiles become darkened in their minds.

This has nothing to do with your son who is gay by no choice of his own, no pagan ritual practices, no pederasty. Your son does not have a reprobate mind.

Because you have studied the Bible very well, you will understand the most vital part of bible study next to prayer is context. I encourage you to read this article to help you understand the context of verses that have been misapplied to homosexuality today.

Those passages have nothing to do with your son.

Strict churches use fear to motivate people, but God does not want us to live in fear. Jesus never motivates us with fear and condemnation. Paul means to comfort his people in Rome when he says: “There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Fear is debilitating — how can we live out the life God invites us into when we are driven by fear? How can we boldly approach God for mercy and grace when fear fills our hearts?

I pray for God to comfort your heart with truth, and to invite you to trust, to rest, and to let God unfold for you a plan for your son, as is, the way God designed and created your son to be. May you find that perfect peace that is beyond our understanding.

Feel free to write me again after you work through some of this. Also, feel free to suggest your son write me as well.

With love,


5 thoughts on “Dear Susan: Does My Gay Son Have a Reprobate Mind?

  1. It does help a lot reading what you have to say and backing this with scripture. This site has helped me a lot. God bless all of you!

  2. I enjoyed this post today. A few years back I was thinking the same thing. I was so scared he would burn in hell. Well he is saved,been baptisted and beleives in God.He has told me not to worry about this what so ever. I then opened my eyes. I used to listen to peoples negative thoughts on this but no more. I will stand up to who ever. I am also in the process of changing churches.I will listen to no one being so negative and in God’s house. They do have churches that welcome gays.We read out of the same Bibles the other churches do. My son married in April and we had a huge reception in August.To see how happy he was warms my heart. I know in my heart God sees all this. There is no one God would turn down,being gay. You are supposed to love these people. Thank God, I have grown so much and can stand up for my child and be happy for him and his spouse.

  3. I enjoyed this post today, as I wondered the same things about our son several months ago. I have enjoyed reading your reference page and read on line about the people you mention off and on in your posts. This information has helped me find peace with my son being who God created him to be. I had so much fear when I found out he was gay…. it is a journey, one day at a time. Have had to really start to dig in to looking at who Jesus is.

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