Please Don’t Change… (others)

We are not responsible to change people's behavior. It's not our job, even with our children, especially as they get older. If you think you're going to make your pianist into a football player, give it up now. Unfortunately, much of the church today is about behavior modification. But please remember, the reality of the … Continue reading Please Don’t Change… (others)

Hellish Torment is ALWAYS from the Enemy

My heart breaks for the spiritual abuse of people whose heart's desire is to do the best, but who believe (from childhood training) that their best will never be good enough. I have counseled women who suffered sexual abuse by pastors, and whose legalistic churches turned a blind eye to them. I've counseled youth and … Continue reading Hellish Torment is ALWAYS from the Enemy

Halloween Trivia – Are You Afraid?

It's Halloween, a time for scary costumes! But something else is even scarier -- it fills people with fear instead of love and should make us all afraid. What is it? Let’s play a Halloween trivia game to find out! 🙂 See if you know the right answers. Here are the players: LGBTQ—wants freedom to … Continue reading Halloween Trivia – Are You Afraid?

Abuse in Church – Fear Hides, Love Frees

Maybe the church has too much time on its hands. Like kids near the end of summer when Mom is saying, “Okay, two more weeks and they’re back in school. No more boiling a baseball so it will bounce higher or using conditioner on the dog.” I say this because so many in the evangelical … Continue reading Abuse in Church – Fear Hides, Love Frees

You Have Two Options: Love or Fear

John Lennon said, “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance… all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people … Continue reading You Have Two Options: Love or Fear

An Apology to a Lesbian, Many Years Later

Ellen rejected her young friend Becky when Becky came out to her. Years later, Ellen apologized for reacting with the “learned church response” instead of Christ’s love, acceptance and compassion. Here is her letter, with permission... September 15, 2013 Dear Becky, I so pray that you will read this letter. If not, I understand you … Continue reading An Apology to a Lesbian, Many Years Later

A Trans Made Me Blush

This is Rob Cottrell. I have experienced a lot in life. I didn't think something could still surprise me, but I was wrong -- a transgender woman made me blush. I was sharing at PFLAG, an incredible organization, which provides amazing support to families and friends. Near the end, a trans woman said she could … Continue reading A Trans Made Me Blush

Linda & Rob Robertson’s Story: From Fear to Love

We lost the ability to love our gay son because we no longer had a gay son. What we had wished for, prayed for, hoped for -- that we would not have a gay son -- came true... but not at all in the way we had envisioned. - Linda Robertson Linda and Rob shared … Continue reading Linda & Rob Robertson’s Story: From Fear to Love

A Mom’s Letter: Her Daughter Left Husband for a Woman

I share with you an email from a mother (with her permission) upset up by her daughter’s actions. I hoped it might offer hope for any in a similar situation. Dear Susan: My daughter left her husband to become a lesbian. They also have a 5-yr-old daughter. This was a shock for everyone. I love … Continue reading A Mom’s Letter: Her Daughter Left Husband for a Woman

All We Need Is Love

Last week, our church hosted the Break the Hate Arts Event with a neighboring church, with visual and performance art by LGBTQ and allies. The event was a spectacular success -- meaning everyone enjoyed the art and each other. We had music, a poetry slam, blog readings, photography, and original songs by my daughter. One … Continue reading All We Need Is Love

You Think Homosexuality is Wrong: So What?

Marybeth mentors women toward wholeness from sexual abuse. Tender-hearted and intelligent, she can uniquely love and empathize with these women, and offer insight to help them overcome great hurts. I liked her immensely the moment I met her. Last time we talked, she asked about my blog, my viewpoint, my motivation. She then told me … Continue reading You Think Homosexuality is Wrong: So What?

Zero or Hero – What Kind of Neighbor Are You?

Three college guys moved into the place directly below us. One of them kindly came up to introduce himself and said to let them know if it gets too noisy because they have a basketball set-up inside their place... which explained the thumping! One night as it was getting late, a party began downstairs with … Continue reading Zero or Hero – What Kind of Neighbor Are You?

The Mystery of an Outlandishly Queer Creation

Queer:  1 strange; odd: she had a queer feeling that they were being watched. Creation:  1 the action or process of bringing something into existence: the creation of a coalition government | job creation. This planet has some crazy schtuff in it. The Sunda Colugo. Yeah, I never heard of it either, but here it is in a picture! The giraffe. … Continue reading The Mystery of an Outlandishly Queer Creation

I Do Love Gays, But…

Love is more attractive than hate. Oh, you don't hate, you say. I know. But what you do in judgment or correction or holding to your principles feels, on the receiving end, the same as hate. As Zig Ziglar wonderfully said, "Some people find fault like there's a reward for it." Yeah, and sadly, that's … Continue reading I Do Love Gays, But…

If You’re an LGBTQ Teen…

If you're a teen, confused by your sexuality—or certain of it but do not feel accepted—then I want to talk just to you for a moment. Stories emerge every day of teens coming out. Some parents wholeheartedly embrace them, like the couple who was kicked out of their church in Tennessee after 60 years of being … Continue reading If You’re an LGBTQ Teen…

God’s Beloved Gay Daughter

"She has just been with God. She was not, is not, mine to judge or reject or try to change." A sweet reader named Jill sent this beautiful piece. I reprint it with her permission. "When my daughter was born and they laid her on my stomach for the first time, and she opened her eyes … Continue reading God’s Beloved Gay Daughter

Divorced… And It’s About Time

My precious friend Mary Ellen celebrated her one-year divorce anniversary on Monday. She posted on her blog about it. Woo hoo! Ce-le-brate! I know, I know. That sounds crazy. But when someone has been in bondage for years, struggled to recover her life, and God is clearly leading, it actually is a celebration. I walked … Continue reading Divorced… And It’s About Time

Dad’s Letter to Friends about His Gay Daughter

This dad’s letter beautifully expresses our duty as parents to embrace and protect our children. This is a letter to all of you who might consider me, or Debbie, or one of my children a friend. I ask for your forgiveness and prayers as I confess that we have lied to you for several years. My … Continue reading Dad’s Letter to Friends about His Gay Daughter

Bending the Rules

Jesus replied, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them. Luke 11:46 When Jesus showed up on earth, He blew away the religious elite. And not in a way they liked. They … Continue reading Bending the Rules

Dads, Where Are You?

Recently I read a list of the top 5 life events that cause stress, and my very first thought was, “Crap. I have 4 of them going on all at once.” This is Rob Cottrell, Susan’s husband. The past few years, and especially the past couple of months, have been an incredible journey. So I … Continue reading Dads, Where Are You?