If you are LGBTQI, coming out to your Christian parents and family can be overwhelming. You don't know their response until you tell them... and then it's too late. I hope this article, written with a gay friend, will help. Be honest This is the most fundamental piece of advice, and also the most important. It … Continue reading Coming Out to Christian Parents
“If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.” — Thomas Merton My delightful daughter Hannah, whose AMAZING coming out post we ran last year, has written another great post on her Facebook page. She is always thought-provoking and I just had to share … Continue reading My Daughter… the Wise, Wonderful Heretic!
"My son wears tutus. It was fine... until yesterday!" This is the story of the innocence of a child, the love of a Mom, and the scary, hurtful words of a stranger. Unfortunately, it is a situation repeated on a tragically frequent basis. Is it hate? Ignorance? Misguided interference? You decide. I will let Jen, … Continue reading A Boy in a Tutu, a Mom, and the Scary Words of a Stranger
“You’re a Christian! How can you support LGBTQ people and gay marriage? Don’t you realize you are condoning sin? You are leading people into hell!” This is Rob Cottrell, Susan’s husband, and I have heard it all! Multiple times a day from strangers. Frequently from people who claim to be friends. And more than I … Continue reading As a Person of Faith, I Fully Accept and Affirm LGBTQ
I write today to Christian parents of LGBTQ children who are worried about their kids. Struggling with this whole thing. From a Mom's heart to yours. Easter is the day Christians celebrate new life in a risen Savior. It’s a day to think about crucifixion and resurrection. What God is calling us to do versus … Continue reading To Worried Parents of LGBTQ Children
It's women’s gymnastics time again! It is my favorite Olympic event, of all time, period. I feel the adrenaline as I watch them. Those young women perform skills so hard they shouldn't be possible! They work years to develop their ability--and they make it look easy! Consider the balance beam: the commentator says the gymnast's boldness is … Continue reading Would Unconditional Love Change Things?
So-called “reparative therapy” is in the news again! Yippee! Nevermind that those who have been through it report the horrific abuse involved, the lifelong scars sustained, the devastating self-loathing that results. Don't worry that the medical and psychiatric community has decried it as not only failed as a practice that doesn't deliver the hope-for result of a … Continue reading It’s Baaack! The Nightmare of Ex-Gay Reparative Therapy
Too many in the non-affirming church say this type of thing... Gays are just born 'broken', a result of sin, family curse, tendencies that are not 'God's ideal.' Gays can't help it - but they need to be 'fixed.' People have no idea how deeply offensive this is and how contrary to the truth and … Continue reading Dear Susan: Are Gays God’s Second-Best?
"If these young people, in moments of exhaustion or anger or complete desperation, do share that deepest of secrets with their Christian parents, and even if those parents do choose not to disown them or expel them, something else happens almost instantly; the whole family goes into the closet together; into a second hiding." We have … Continue reading Into The Second Closet: Christian Parents With Gay Children
"My child's struggle to figure out who he was called everything I believed into question. With my strong faith and lots of soul-searching, the answers finally became clear." We have been blessed to meet and get to know many transgender people and their families since we began our journey as parents of a gay child, … Continue reading The Son God Gave Me
As parents of LGBTQ children, sometimes we are just starting to be at peace with our child coming out and they drop a bomb on us that the love in their life wants to sleep over! Okey dokey then. Something else to deal with. It's all part of this journey of growth, trust and unconditional … Continue reading Dear Susan: What About Sleepovers?
This is Rob, Susan’s husband, and something is heavy on my heart today. Susan has been betrayed by those closest to her. She has written about how she has been judged, how her faith has been questioned. She has talked about people who tell us we are leading people into hell, and people who shun … Continue reading Is Jesus a Threat to Christianity?
Do people make you feel like you're different because you're LGBTQ? Maybe you're the parent of a child who has been called 'different' because they are gay. I want to share a story you might relate to. 🙂 I’m a single man, going on thirty-three Folks are probably wondering if there’s something wrong with me … Continue reading Do They Call You ‘Different’?
I've been thinking of you – as I always do! – and the oppression of being told to live in a way it's not possible for you to live. (I'm talking about being told to somehow live straight when you're gay.) What a day-in day-out grind it is to live contrary to who you are, as you … Continue reading The God of the Gays
"Does my gay son need to come back to a normal life? Did God give him a reprobate mind because of bad influences? Is my gay son condemned by God and will he face God's judgment?" I hear these questions a lot and I look forward to addressing them today. I write Dear Susan posts … Continue reading Dear Susan: Does My Gay Son Have a Reprobate Mind?
"We will not patronize, exclude, or ignore the gifts of any person, male or female, gay or straight, young or old. We declare solidarity with the poor, and with all who are suffering, oppressed, or excluded." This was an affirmation prayer that was part of a recent church service. I, along with so many others, … Continue reading Until My Knees Buckle & My Arms Fail
Rob and I were having dinner with friends, a couple who are parents of a gay child. The Dad said, "I grew up where life was sort of gray, meaning I could see everyone's point of view. Then we began to go to bible studies, and church and my world became very black and white. … Continue reading Back to Square One – The Perfect Place
We talk with countless Christian parents of LGBTQ children - many just after their child has come out to them. It was usually not something the parent had thought about or prepared for. And their initial reaction can have a life-changing impact on their child. This is Rob, Susan's husband, writing today. 🙂 This article, … Continue reading If I Have Gay Children: Four (or 5!) Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent
I write Dear Susan posts every Friday. Sometimes they will be poignant, sometimes thought-provoking, sometimes tender, sometimes funny… but hopefully always worth the read. 🙂 Dear Susan, Christianity is all about being selfless. (Or is it?) The thing that they market the most is how life will be better after you ‘choose Jesus.’ “How much … Continue reading Dear Susan: Is Christianity Selfish?
My darling friend (codename Salarcon) is consistently more joyful than many of us put together. She has her struggles, as do all of us, but she has an incredible peace in the midst of those struggles, as do few of us. She is also a Poetry Slam Goddess and host of a new YouTube poetry program, … Continue reading Love Yourself Hard