Hey fellow Moms and Dads. You may feel like a deer in the headlights! Your child just told you: “Mom, I’m gay,” “Dad, I’m lesbian,” “I’m bisexual,” or “I’m transgender.” I know! This is the last thing you want to hear, and your head is spinning. What does this mean? What will become of my … Continue reading Did Your Child Just Come Out to You? If so, this is a Must Read!
We have been betrayed by those closest to us. We have written about being shamed, shunned and judged, and how our faith has been questioned. We have talked about people who tell us we are leading people into hell. All "in God's name.” Usually from those in the nonaffirming, conservative evangelical church. Why? Because of … Continue reading What is the Biggest Threat to Christianity? Jesus!
Rob and I raised our kids on “Adventures in Odyssey,” produced by Focus on the Family. We measured our road trips by them: “Just five more Odysseys until we get there, kids!” The madcap misadventures, framed in Mr. Whitaker’s constant love and insight, warmed our hearts. We thought Focus on the Family actually focused on … Continue reading Finding Freedom from Focus on the Family’s ‘Gospel of Exclusion’
Cutting, drug-abuse, suicide. Way too often we hear the tragic story of another LGBTQI person struggling. Is there a core issue, a common reason? I believe there is. We cannot underestimate the impact of family and faith-based rejection. Of being told that you are an abomination to God, of being kicked out of homes and … Continue reading The Root Cause of Self-Harming Behavior in the LGBTQI Community
I am fully affirming because of my faith, not in spite of it. I came to believe what I believe after extensive theological study, my own life experience, examining the lived experience of others, research, prayer, and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. It was a journey. All I did was stay on it, … Continue reading You may think I’m wrong about LGBTQI. So, now what?
"Stop letting awful parents put these labels on young children! It is going to destroy their lives!" We hear some version of this every day. What these people don't realize is that it is not the parent who is doing anything, it is the child driving the vast majority of these conversations. Gender identity and … Continue reading Can My Young Child Know If They Are Gay?
It was a big day nonetheless. Graduating from seminary, I enjoyed family and friends here to celebrate, and so many more cheering me on from afar. I felt loved, valued, appreciated, seen, and heard! Gifts and well wishes rained down from Mamas in FreedHearts Moms, my secret online support group. I received many more wishes … Continue reading Flowers for the Living
Margaret Court was the name in Women’s Tennis. She was the best in the world. She set records. The Australian Open’s Court Arena bears her name. But her game is sadly out of date. She would not have even a teensy-weensy chance against the 100th ranked player today, let alone Serena. Not. A. Chance. Bless … Continue reading Margaret Court’s Outdated Game With the LGBTQI Community
Seven years ago, my daughter came out. I love her. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. I stand with her. I defend her. I believe in her. I protect her. And my life's work is now to advocate for her and for all those in the LGBTQI community. Maybe you have a gay son, or … Continue reading A Father’s Plea to Christian Dads of LGBTQI Children
At a time when a parent weeps uncontrollably, mourning the death of their precious child, what would possibly drive a father to refuse to claim the dead body of his son? Oh wait, he told us: the son was gay. Where is the love? Is the middle of the unspeakable pain of losing your child … Continue reading An Unclaimed Body – the Last Victim of Pulse. Where is the Love?
Today’s my girls’ birthday, my lovely youngest daughter. She moves to LA tomorrow. Onward toward her music career. How the years fly and in the end, and when those kids soar off to their own adventures, we are left to wave and wish them joy and peace and life. What do you wish you had … Continue reading How to Parent an LGBTQI (or Any) Child
Are we so terrified of an angry God that we choose to err of the side of judging a person instead of loving them? Unfortunately, the answer is "yes" for much of the church. And it is destroying the lives of people and entire families - many of whom we call brothers and sisters in … Continue reading The Ultimate Question: What If You’re Wrong?
I am sorry if the title of this post shocks you, or strikes you as harsh or over-dramatic. But honestly, parents don’t realize what they’re asking of their LGBTQI kids. And they don't realize what their rejection is doing to them. This is not about inclusion. This is a matter of life and death. By … Continue reading Would You Rather Have a Gay Child or a Dead Child?
"Prejudices are breaking down. Walls are breaking down. Pastors are rethinking their entrenched positions. Parents are choosing their child over learned doctrine that doesn't reconcile with their lived experience or with the heart of God." I wanted to share this, from a Mom who is part of my private Facebook support group for Moms of … Continue reading Christians, Here’s Why You Don’t Have to be Afraid to Support Gays
"You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on. But you can't. Your child is gay. This goes against everything you've been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong." When you become a parent, you know to expect the unexpected. But … Continue reading To Christian Parents of LGBTQI Children
What do you when the bully in a school is the teacher? What impact does it have on a child’s life when those he thought were there to protect him, turn out to be the biggest threat? J.D.’s mom, Shawna DiCintio, recalls J.D. as a happy, carefree kid, an up-and-coming advocate for youth, a leader … Continue reading Transgender & Bathrooms: Who Are The Ones Who Really Need Protecting?
She was so upset. Almost to the point of tears. And nearly an hour later, you could still see the shame on her face. But why? Her voice. Her beauty. Her charm. She plays to sold-out stadiums. She delights her fans and moves people to tears. I am simply mesmerized as I watch her—including her … Continue reading You Had Me at Hello… My Advice to Adele
Shhhhh. We have a secret weapon. Powerful. Effective. Ready to change the world. And it is hidden right in the middle of the nonaffirming conservative, evangelical church. There is a wall, erected by Christian leaders who are nonaffirming, between the church and people who just so happen to be LGBTQI. Their teachings have encouraged or … Continue reading We Have A Secret Weapon Hidden in the Anti-Gay Church!
“Mom, I’m Gay!” You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on. But you can’t. Having a gay or trans child may may go against everything you’ve been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong. When you become a parent, you … Continue reading Are You the Parent of an LGBTQ Child? You Are Not Alone.
If you are LGBTQI, coming out to your Christian parents and family can be overwhelming. You don't know their response until you tell them... and then it's too late. I hope this article, written with a gay friend, will help. Be honest This is the most fundamental piece of advice, and also the most important. It … Continue reading Coming Out to Christian Parents