How to Come Out to Your Sister

Coming out for anyone can be scary, because you can't really say, "Just kidding!" if someone goes ballistic. Becca took a courageous step to come out to her sister away at college and was quite relieved at her loving response. Because they had been reading my blogs, they shared their conversation with me and then …

What Happens When They Come For You?

What happens when the church or society decides that something in your life is now a "particularly evil sin?" What happens when they come for you? We have been evangelicals for 24 years -- last weekend we visited an open and affirming church in Austin. I was struck by the immediate kindness, compassion and intimacy …

Parents, Your LGBTQ Kid is Going to be Fine

Your child is gay. Do not be afraid; it's going to be alright. In fact, it will be amazing! Your world feels shaky but I encourage you to relax. It's not just going to be okay, it will be better than okay. Your child is gay, or bi, or trans, but that's not all. Your …

The Woman Forgiven for Adultery

Remember the story of “Jesus Scattering Townspeople and Self-Righteous Men in the Name of Mercy and Justice”? Oh right, you may know it as, “The Woman Caught in Adultery.” I love that Jesus instantly knew the hearts of everyone involved. I love how Jesus never falls for any of it. I love that He lets …

Never Make Your Kids Feel Ashamed of Who They Are

Shame. It says, “There is something fundamentally wrong with me.” It is the lie at the very root of our identity. If I did something wrong, I can apologize and make amends. But if I am fundamentally wrong, what hope do I have? Our greatest need is to be loved, to belong, to be accepted …

Stop “Acting Like a Christian”

"I wasn't allowed to go to the fair," he told me, "because I had become a Christian. My mother said, 'Christians don't go to the fair.' But since my brother Bill was not a Christian, he was allowed to go." What? This was Jim's explanation -- after I'd shared my faith with him -- of …

When Do You Learn God’s Grace?

"Thank God I'm an alcoholic -- because otherwise I wouldn't have known grace!" JP We dislike trials. We hate difficulties or roadblocks or obstacles. We want nothing insurmountable because we want to be strong enough to surmount anything. After all, we like to feel good about ourselves, and we like to know that whatever happens, …

Answers You’ve Been Asking For

Beloveds, we have faced so much in these volatile days. My heart goes out to Christians torn by their compassion for the LGBTQ and their sense of duty to uphold their moral standard. I continue to pray for God's revelation to everyone on every side of this issue. I am always moved by Jesus' answers …

So This is How Rejection Feels

I had a big argument with someone very close to me today, a mentor. Someone I love very much. She was angry at me for my blog, saying I am being unfair to Christians who are kind and loving, that it goes both ways, that we hear only stories of Christians' anger toward LGBTQ instead …

What if Straight was Gay and Gay was Straight?

Bullying is devastating. If you have experienced it, you know what I mean. Sixth grade was hell for me, as I was singled out for abuse, ridicule, and pain. I honestly did not know how I drew this hatred, but I knew I would never be at ease among these kids from River Oaks in …

A Tale of Two Trees: Why We Are All Asking the Wrong Question

The Gay Christian debate rages on, with what seems like more interpersonal casualties every day. How in the world can we find common ground in such a deeply personal and sharply divisive issue? I think we've been asking the wrong question. We've been focused on the rightness or wrongness of being gay, instead of: whose …

Christians, Why Are You Afraid of Gay Marriage?

A group of prominent evangelicals recently declared that if marriage equality becomes law, they will disobey it. These God-fearing meticulous Bible-followers feel so strongly about gay marriage that they are willing to flout this law they don't agree with. I really, truly understand their commitment about something that goes against their deeply held principles. I …

The Condemnation of DOMA

"Christians are becoming increasingly irrelevant. They are dragging Jesus down with them." The eyes of the nation are on the Supreme Court as we wait for a ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act and Prop 8. What is at stake for Christians in this battle? Does our stance even matter now that it's in …

A Love Letter to the LGBTQ from a Christian Mom

“They kicked me out on my 18th birthday for being gay… I’ve tried to contact them… I don’t know if they still love me.” Jonathan Allen, America’s Got Talent My husband and I sat stunned as this young man sang Pavarotti on “America’s Got Talent.” Tears filled our eyes as his story settled on us, …

Why Hoping for Change Can Hurt

“People have been badly wounded by the false hope that if they would just pray, study, and counsel, then change can occur. But it doesn’t.” True Story is the theme of next week’s Exodus conference in CA. I’m holding out hope that this will mean less theory and more lived experience, the only thing for …

A Tribute to Brennan Manning

“To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means.” Brennan Manning What I know about Brennan Manning is he knew (experienced, lived, trusted) the love of God. He lived in his position …

Born Selfish

We've been talking about whether or not people are born gay. The other morning I woke up full of conviction of how selfish I am. I had dreamed that a close friend ended our friendship because of my blog. Suddenly everything felt very tender and close to the surface. As I began to read John …

Now that I’ve Come Out of the Closet

  I recently came out as a straight, married, Christ-following mother-of-five, in support of the LGBTQ community. Since then, I've received quite a few emails and comments -- many incredibly encouraging and some less-than-loving. I understand that views on this issue are deeply rooted, and people don't want to make the wrong move. I took …

Born that Way? – Part 2

90% of gay men interviewed said they were born gay and have never been attracted to women. They have no experience of having chosen it any more than straight people chose to be straight, and they are told in no uncertain terms that it is sin.That's my haircutter's situation. I asked when he knew he …